Friday, July 29, 2005

2005 Bulwer-Lytton (Bad) Fiction Contest Winners

For a good chuckle, check out the San Jose State University Bulwer-Lytton (Bad) Fiction Contest Winners. It's amazing how talented some people are at writing poorly. The winner compared a woman's breasts to knobs on a carburetor, and one of the runners-up wrote about India, "that hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia". Here are some of my favorites:

  • After she realized the man she had fallen in love with was her long lost twin brother and they must break up immediately, they shared one last kiss that left a bitter yet sweet taste in her mouth--kind of like throwing up after eating a junior mint. [Tami Farmer, Rome, GA]

  • The rising sun crawled over the ridge and slithered across the hot barren terrain into every nook and cranny like grease on a Denny's grill in the morning rush, but only until eleven o'clock when they switch to the lunch menu. [Lester Guyse, Portland, OR]

  • Long, long ago in a galaxy far away, in General Hospital born I was, and quite happy were my parents, but when a youngling still I was, moved we did. [Mary Potts, Oneco, Fl]

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